Timeless Torah

The daughters of Tzelafchad made history when the male-only inheritance laws were overturned. Since then however, their daughters have not made much progress. At least that’s the argument from contemporary women who do not understand the gender exclusion policies of Orthodox synagogues. How much longer, they wonder, will shuls segregate their women to the peanut gallery?
Indeed, the all-male minyan is an enigma. In fact, it is simply bewildering. Let me explain: Many of the guidelines for prayer, we learn from a lady named Chana when she came to the Tabernacle to pray. There she poured out her heart and demanded that G-d change the rules of nature itself by granting her not just any son, but a righteous one. In return, she promised to dedicate his life to holiness.
All along, the High Priest Eli kept an eye on this lady, and when she finished her Heavenly negotiations he accused her being inebriated. Imagine that: A woman offers up the ultimate prayer which becomes the model for future generations, and a man who spends his day in holy activities surrounded by spiritual rituals mistakes her for a drunk!
At any rate, Chana describes the bitterness of her soul that she is, “Pouring out before G-d,” and a year later, Samuel the prophet is born. From the story of Chana, our Sages learn many things, primarily, that if one pours out his soul, G-d may break the rules for him. So enamored were the Rabbis with Chana’s prayer that they composed the Amidah, the main Jewish prayer, using the exact number of words as found in Chana’s prayer. Do you get it? All those guidelines just to teach men how to pray like a woman!
So why did Chana look like a drunk to Eli? Because her emotions poured out unconstrained. Men have a hard time with that, much harder than women. The whole modality of prayer is a female thing: Men don’t like to cry, to admit helplessness, to express their inner selves and discuss their true needs. These are things we generally associate with women. And, by the way, men especially don’t do these things when there are women around.
Now you see why it’s not just puzzling, it’s downright bizarre. Prayer is principally a woman’s thing, yet the synagogue is the domain of men! Of course, the difficulty is only if you insist that the shul is all about prayer. But it isn’t.
To be sure, the shul is a very good place for prayer but that’s not what it is. What it is, is a miniature clone of the original Temple that once stood in Jerusalem. So while Prayer may be feminine, temples are masculine.
Eli, as you recall, was the ‘Mr. Holiness’ of the Tabernacle. Keep in mind that Eli was running a tight operation. Services ran seven days a week, 365 days a year, always on schedule, always strictly by the book, precisely choreographed and supervised. Got a sin-offering? Here are the rules and get in Line B. You’ve come to sacrifice a guilt-offering? Different set of rules, and of course, a separate Line. Just want to show your thanks and appreciation to the Almighty? You better follow the rules, or else you’ll be back in Line A.
Nonetheless, this entire setting with all of its myriad rules was meant as a vehicle for inspired action, meditative focus, and the cleaving of the soul to its Divine Source in sublime ecstasy. Imagine your soul soaring, being eminently conscious of all the spiritual energies you’re drawing upon, yet not forgetting to constantly open up the right page in the instruction manual.
But that was exactly Eli’s job; to contain unbounded light into an order of time and space. Remember Jacob’s ladder which symbolizes the flow of prayer. First, you go up. All the way up and break out of the system of nature: To a place where anything could happen, where an entirely new direction of events could be authored, to reach the Author Himself. That’s where Chana climbed. And her whole life changed from it: Which is why we emulate her.
But how does one capture the new blessing created in the heavens? More importantly, how does one package it, shrink wrap it, and bring it back to earth? That is what the synagogue is about. Say your prayers there, if you can. Because prayers said there have a better chance of making a safe landing. Even unbounded, spiritual light needs a holy landing pad.
Organizing and packaging G-dliness into time slots is a male thing. Women’s role lies more in opening these packages up and extending them beyond time.
So what is Prayer? It’s not something you do. It’s what you have to be. Like King David said, “I am a prayer.” In the Bible this is referred to as, “Serve G-d with all your heart.” Meaning that when your heart is broken, ask Him to mend it. When it feels empty, ask Him to fill it. This is the essential aspect of prayer, to make every heart a sanctuary.
So G-d asked the women for a favor. Would you mind, He said, a synagogue that promotes this intense modality of prayer, where men can also pour out their hearts. The only thing is, they will never expose their insecurities in front of their women. “Go ahead,” they replied, “Build a mechitza - a divider, so they can experience what we already do on our side.”